Where did you get a picture of my penis
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize