I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
