You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
