I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize