ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
