i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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