You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
BRING THE BAGELS
COCAINE IS GR8
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
