just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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