I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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