Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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