i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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