She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
