He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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