your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
