Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Enjoy the penises
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize