so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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