I could have mohawked her pubes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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