If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize