Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Randomize
