Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
