She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think a kid would responsible me up
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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