Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
