I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
