idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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