i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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