I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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