shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize