I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
