We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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