new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
