Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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