shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
