I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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