I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
