you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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