The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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