now i know why i became what i already was.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
