every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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