My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
