It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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