She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
