So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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