Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My first STD was from a foam party
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
