I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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