it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
