either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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