Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize