Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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