I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
