I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
