Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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