What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
