I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
