I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
