belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
