I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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