handjob tips. give me some.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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