talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
