update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
