I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
