did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
