real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
