$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
