I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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