i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Randomize
