I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
