So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
